Ace Watch

Book recommendation: I KNOW VERY WELL HOW I GOT MY NAME

Wed, 15 May 2013 23:33:48 -0400

Book recommendation: I KNOW VERY WELL HOW I GOT MY NAME:

The night he loses his virginity, he becomes Dean. Amy Wagner names him—and she would know best. Amy knows all kinds of things that Dean doesn’t understand—things about sex, music, and the darker side of life. All Dean knows is his safe suburban home with his parents,books, and imaginary games. Until now, he’s been able to hide his true identity, even from himself. To the rest of the world, he is a teenage girl—an awkward, boyish teenage girl, but a girl nonetheless. Meeting Amy changes everything. Soon that protected world around him begins to fall apart, and he is left with no option but to face himself and the truth.

I Know Very Well How I Got My Name chronicles Dean’s clumsy progression through the American public school system. It is the 90’s and early 2000’s, in suburban Syracuse, New York—a world in which LGBTQ bullying is not yet a hot topic in schools, and there is little tolerance for outsiders of any kind. A prequel to his critically-acclaimed novel Refuse, Elliott DeLine’s second book is about the prevailing myths surrounding bullying and abuse, and the hardships of being young and transgender without a community or a roadmap.

Not necessarily ace-related, but potentially of interest to many of the readers of this blog.

Help Spread the Word?

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 15:50:16 -0400

asexualpocsunite:

A week or so ago I met a nice Tumblr person who was asexual, yet had no knowledge of Tumblr’s asexual community. The reply I got to an asexual post was along the lines of “I’m not alone”.

I’m sure we can all relate to that, so I’ve decided I’d like to start a comprehensive list to add to what I’ve already got going here; but for all the asexual blogs on Tumblr.

I’m actually thinking two lists- one for blogs specifically about asexuality, and another list of asexual Tumblr users. I can pull some things from the regular posters in the tags, but I’d love to be able to get everybody.

So please reply to or reblog this post with a note saying whether you’re asexual or your blog is about it (or both! If you’ve got more than one account, please also include!); or drop me a message or submission.

Let’s make sure we know where to find each other.

Listing of everyone and every blog I have so far here.

-SophiaPhilemon

uc-lgbtq-center: Webster’s Wednesday: Word of the Week!...

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 19:21:04 -0500

uc-lgbtq-center:

Webster’s Wednesday: Word of the Week! This week, let’s discuss ASEXUALITY! People who identify as asexual are often misunderstood. An asexual person is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which is a lifestyle choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation. Some asexuals may be “repulsed” by sex, meaning they are personally averse to the idea of having sex themselves. Some are “indifferent”, meaning they do not mind having sex, despite experiencing no sexual attraction. Asexuality is NOT anti-sexuality. Just like anybody else, some asexual people desire relationships and some do not. For more info, look at this page: http://www.asexualawarenessweek.com/whatis.html

Les asexuels: le group négligé par Kinsey

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 14:37:26 -0500

Les asexuels: le group négligé par Kinsey:

A French article about Anthony Bogaert’s research on asexuality.

I am making a list of asexuality-related blogs (blogs which are all about asexuality, as well as...

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 17:58:41 -0500

I am making a list of asexuality-related blogs (blogs which are all about asexuality, as well as those which talk about it frequently, or else are written by asexual people).

Any suggestions?

"An Asexual YA Heroine? Why Not?"

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 16:24:16 -0500

"An Asexual YA Heroine? Why Not?":

rj-anderson:

centrumlumina:

GUYS.

THIS IS [BY] ONE OF MY FAVOURITE AUTHORS WHO HAS BRILLIANT CHARACTERISATION AND A REALLY INTERESTING TAKE ON THINGS AND IT’S A SEQUEL TO HER BOOK ON SYNESTHESIA WHICH I HAVE BEEN QUIETLY OBSESSED WITH SINCE THE AGE OF ELEVEN.

HER NEXT BOOK IS FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A TEENAGE ASEXUAL FEMALE CHARACTER AND IT IS THE BEST THING.

Yay, somebody else wrote me a smashing intro post so I don’t have to write one myself and feel like a dweeb! Thanks, centrumlumina! I’m so glad you liked the essay (and the books, too!)

So, er, yes. If you would like to know a little more about QUICKSILVER in general and this aspect of the story in particular, click through to read the essay I wrote for this month’s Carnival of Aces under the topic “Asexuality in Fiction”.

(NOTE: Essay contains some brief quotes from the book and talk of characterization and the writing process, but no major plot spoilers.)

thedailywhat: Meet Tim, The Mayor of Friendzone Not to be such...

Fri, 23 Nov 2012 15:22:59 -0500

thedailywhat:

Meet Tim, The Mayor of Friendzone

Not to be such a cold-hearted cynic, but I think this anonymous user has a point. For more details on this story, check out the original BBC article on the phenomenon of asexuality.

Hey fuck you, The Daily What.

Carnival of Aces: Round-up for October

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 16:06:28 -0400

queenieofaces:

Welcome to this month’s Carnival of Aces! During the month of October, people across the asexual community wrote about sexual education—how it has affected them, why it’s important, and how it could be better.

Dominique wrote about his experiences with sexual education at a Catholic middle school and high school in “On sex education, for the Carnival of Aces”:

The official curriculum on sex in my middle school consisted entirely of teaching us that we shouldn’t pressure each other into sex and that we were too young to be having sex anyway. In my first year of high school, I was subjected to a lengthy school assembly by a guest speaker who more-or-less attempted to convince us it would be dangerous and disgraceful for us to express our sexualities in any way other than following the Catholic model of “chastity,” which involves abstinence for unmarried people but is actually more restrictive and complicated than just that, and also prohibits masturbation, contraception of any kind, and deliberately entertaining sexual fantasies.

I wrote “Sex-positive sexual education and the asexual spectrum, or Queenie has dangerously many feelings about consent”:

I probably don’t have to tell you how dangerous this all-sex-is-good mindset is, not only for asexuals but for everyone. Even assuming that people know that no means no, so much coercion can occur in an environment where consent isn’t explicitly talked about as part of the sexual landscape. People can be coerced into having sex in order to become “sexually liberated” or so that the other party can “prove” that they’re “just repressed.”

Emily wrote about her somewhat unconventional sources of sexual education in “October Carnival of Aces Submission: The Internet as Sex Ed”:

This book, however, being aimed at pre-teens and young teens, did not tell me very much about the emotional realities of sex and consent. By the time I was eleven, I could probably tell you everything there is to know about a normal conception, going through puberty as a male or a female, how to buy your first bra, and what your options were for containing your menstrual flow (including cups and re-usable pads — I learned about those too!).

I couldn’t, however, tell you anything about how to know whether you are ready for sex, how to negotiate consent and boundaries, or anything like that. Maybe it’s because I just didn’t read those parts of the book (I don’t actually remember the book perfectly), but more likely, it’s because those areas of sexuality and development weren’t covered in books like that.

I apparently had more feelings than could be contained in a single post, so I wrote “An open letter to parents: how you talk to your kids about sexuality and gender actually matters a lot”:

I was really upset when I started growing breasts. I was an athlete: breasts were really inconvenient! On top of that, my mother was a small chested woman, so I had always assumed I’d have rather unobtrusive breasts, but my genes had other ideas.

My mother’s response? ”You should be happy; boys like girls with big breasts!”

Weirdly enough, that just freaked me out more. Why would I want some sort of boy magnet attached to my chest? Rather than ditching my sports bra when I left the playing field (like my mum wanted me to), I wore it all the time, because I didn’t want my chest to start attracting random men.

Ren wrote about how sex ed covered the basics well but never really moved beyond that in “Sex Ed”:

Age 14: First kiss, from a strange boy at a school dance. It is wet and sloppy and anti-climactic. I will never see him again. Friends and I go shopping for clothes…I need the help and guidance. We tease each other about sex and boys, only none of us do it or know any. Girls at school bitch about my large breasts behind my back. Men approach me in the street and talk to me, trying to be ‘friendly’. I’m only 14, I think. My male PE teacher refuses to supervise a sex ed class in which we put condoms on bananas. Every other class does it, yet mine misses out because he refuses to do it and can’t find a substitute (apparently). I’m furious on principle; I already know how to use a condom from books, magazines and the Internet.

appalachian-ace, who apparently had even more feelings about sex ed than I did, wrote a five-part post about how to make sex ed GSM-friendly in “Thoughts Toward An Everyone-Inclusive Sex Ed” (part two, part three, part four, part five):

Knowledge of coming out – emotional responses to thinking about it or doing it, risks involved, how to evaluate when is right and who is safe – ought to be standard. And if the religious parents object, point out that it’s also valid learning for disclosing religious stances on desired number of children and birth control prohibitions to potential spouses. Even within a congregation views on these things often vary, more so within denominations.

codeman38 wrote about how to make sex ed less confusing and more relevant for aces in “Sex education: a confusing place for an ace”:

I honestly think that I only figured out how much more interested everyone else in the class was than I was about sex when they started having the open question-and-answer sessions, and there was this…well,enthusiasm…that seemed completely unfathomable to me. It’s like the metaphorical lightbulb went off above my head at that moment, and I realized… wow, this isn’t all just hypothetical stuff to everyone here. This was actually relevant to them.

metapianycist wrote “Scattered ideas about sex education in relation to asexuals”:

One of the questions in the call for submissions for the carnival involved considering whether or not asexuals need sex education. I think that asexuals do need sex education, not only because some asexuals will have sex, but because conversations of sexual ethics are applicable to physical touch in general, and asexuals are not immune from picking up harmful ideas about sex. It is also important to have an understanding of your own anatomy in the interest of general health. Since people in your life who are important to you may have different genital configurations than your own, it is similarly important to be knowledgeable of male-assigned anatomy if you are female-assigned and vice versa.

redbeardace worked on a graphic to teach “Asexual Sex Ed”:

A few years ago, you started to notice that some of your friends started talking about girls. Now, many of them even have girlfriends. A few have even started having sex.

But you’re not interested in girls like they are. You don’t see why they think Sally is hot or why they’re so excited about what Jane is wearing. You feel left out.

So, you start to think that maybe you’re gay. A handful of the other boys at school have started liking other boys, maybe you do too?

rainbowace argued for “why sexual education should be more about relationship education”:

One thing I got out of the posts for this month’s carnival is that not just the mechanics and tools should be taught in sexual education, and instead it should focus on making it clear that there is variability in attraction/libido/etc. I agree that this is very important. I think this relatively minor change will invariably help those who do not have sex feel much more comfortable with what they are learning. I also think that there are some changes to the curriculum that would benefit sexually active individuals, and perhaps reduce the harm done in imbalanced relationships. An important component to this is that, in my mind, sexual education should also focus on being a good member of a relationship.

(If you submitted something and I missed it, please let me know, and I’ll add it to the list ASAP!)

I wanted to take a moment to thank everybody who made this month’s carnival possible—all the contributors, everybody who signal boosted, all the people who let me bribe them into submitting (*cough*), everyone who put up with me bugging them about this carnival all month… I had no idea how this would work out, ‘cause I’ve never run anything like this before (and I’m not super well-known in the ace community), but the number of submissions I got was kind of fantastic. So thank you, all of you. You are awesome. High-fives all around.

Next month the carnival will be hosted over at Lunas Specto, and the theme will be fiction, to coincide with National Novel Writing Month! I don’t know about you guys, but I am pretty darn excited for this theme.

If you’d like to host the carnival yourself, check out the masterpost. I can vouch for hosting being a pretty awesome experience.

Quick anonymous survey for anyone at least 18 years old

Thu, 13 Sep 2012 00:02:17 -0400

Quick anonymous survey for anyone at least 18 years old:

lunasspecto:

I need a wide range of people to respond, but I particularly want a large sample of asexual respondents and a contrasting sample of people who are not asexual.

I need to collect and analyze the data very quickly. It’s for a class on experimental psychology I had last semester, and I need to have something done for it by 14 September 2012, so I’ll be closing the survey within a day. Feel free to spread it until then!

"The segment is offensive and mean. In the middle of three minutes of jokes, host Greg Gutfeld calls..."

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 17:10:29 -0400

““The segment is offensive and mean. In the middle of three minutes of jokes, host Greg Gutfeld calls asexuals lepers. Near the end, guest Bill Schulz asserts that asexuals aren’t discriminated against. However, it is easy to see how the media is dismissing asexuals even within the segment. The discussion about asexuality on Red Eye encourages viewers to meet asexuality with skepticism and disbelief rather than acceptance. Misinformation and tasteless jokes could have severe negative consequences on asexual people – especially youth — who are struggling to find acceptance.””

- Sara Beth Brooks, the founder of Asexual Awareness Week, on Fox News’ offensive and invalidating segment on asexuality. (via reallyfoxnews)

The Guardian | Asexuality always existed, you just didn't notice it

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 12:23:00 -0400

The Guardian | Asexuality always existed, you just didn't notice it:

And that visibility also explains the apparent rise, as it leads people with more amorphous sexual orientations towards an eventual identification that describes themselves and their feelings. Ten years ago, I knew nothing about asexuality, other than as a term from science classes that referred to some plants and animals.

…

I started identifying as asexual but it didn’t mean that anything about my sexuality had changed, simply that I now had a word to describe it.

"The Asexual Agenda is hosting the Carnival of Aces for August. This month’s theme is age/ageism. For..."

Sun, 05 Aug 2012 21:15:26 -0400

“The Asexual Agenda is hosting the Carnival of Aces for August. This month’s theme is age/ageism. For example: What’s it like to be an older ace, or a younger ace? What do you think of the age demographics of our community? What’s it like to have a relationship with an age difference?”

- Carnival of Aces: Call for submissions | The Asexual Agenda

This needs to be advertised more. Please submit by the end of August.

(via godlessace)

Ontario asexuals challenge assumptions

Sat, 28 Jul 2012 11:51:26 -0400

Ontario asexuals challenge assumptions

Asexuality in the Metro (UK)

Fri, 06 Jul 2012 10:04:41 -0400

Asexuality in the Metro (UK):

quirkysaur:

Surprisingly good article, lots of stats, mention of aromanticism, understanding of attraction =/= behaviour AND in a really common paper! *happy*

fuckyeah-sexpositivity: The rebloggable version, by...

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 00:21:15 -0400

fuckyeah-sexpositivity:

The rebloggable version, by request!

[Text: Anonymous asked: “Why are you posting asexual stuff on a SEX POSITIVE blog”

fuckyeah-sexpositivity answered: “Because, dear anon, sex positivity does not mean erasing or shaming the experiences of those who are asexual.

Actually, I think we need to have this conversation.

I actually am of the mindset we need more perspectives of asexuality within the sex positive movement. Because there’s an all too common mantra within our movement that goes, “Sex is beautiful and natural and everyone wants to have sex so it’s nothing to be ashamed of!”

And I agree, sex is nothing to be ashamed of. But there’s one little detail there: not everyone wants sex or gets pleasure from it. They’re roughly 1% of the population. And with 7 billion people on the planet, 1% equals 70,000,000. Seventy million people is a lot of experiences to erase.

So, roughly 70,000,000 people on this planet don’t want sex. Or they want sex in certain contexts. Or they kind of sometimes want sex but not often. Or they have sex to satisfy a partner, but don’t get much out of it for themselves. Or they have a sex drive, just… not towards other people. Or they can’t stand the thought of sex.

And that’s okay too.

Sex positivity for me is accepting that whether you have sex a lot, or you never have sex, whether you have a million kinks or you can’t stand sex outside the missionary position, whether you are gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, sapiosexual, autosexual, objectumsexual, or asexual, the way you look at sex and attraction is valid and normal, as long as it’s not hurting anyone.

So that is why I am posting asexual content on a sex positivity blog. And that is why I will continue to do so.”]

Asexuality survey needs 500 More Participants

Mon, 07 May 2012 09:31:46 -0400

Asexuality survey needs 500 More Participants:

ace-reporter:

I’ll reblog her actual Tumblr post later.

Asexuality Arrives | Single at Heart

Thu, 03 May 2012 19:58:31 -0400

Asexuality Arrives | Single at Heart

Progress

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 23:43:42 -0400

greenchestnuts:

This is a post I conceived of a while back but never got around to making.

Asexuality has existed as a cohesive and community-based identity for about 12 years, largely centered around the Internet to bring together scattered individuals. In those twelve years, aces have gotten a documentary as well as a textbook (which I hope will be good!) and a number of papers. Asexuality has been covered in The Atlantic, The Guardian, and the BBC, as well as on some fairly large feminist blogs. Aces have marched in pride parades and participated at MBLGTACC and the Creating Change Conference. Aces have liaised with the Trevor Project, a suicide prevention hotline, to help them acquire asexuality-related materials. Aces have met up dozens or hundreds of times around the world, including an annual weekend in England. A number of cities, and university campuses, have local asexuality groups.

Not bad for 12 years. Something to think about when you encounter negativity.

Media imagery of asexuality

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 21:44:39 -0400

aceupyoursleeve:

background images from articles in Nerve, Marie Claire, and Folha.

There’s been a recent discussion about the cover of a potential asexual romance anthology, The Heart of Aces. Everything has already been said, but it reminded me of something else that I wanted to do. So here’s an analysis of the imagery that the media considers appropriate to accompany articles about asexuality, because they seem to fall into a few camps, and maybe I can learn something from this. I’ll link the articles, but this isn’t a critique of what they wrote; I’m interested in the types of visuals they use. And after each category I’m going to make a comment on what I think I learned about asexuality from the image and (for the asexually-uninformed) why I feel it does or doesn’t work, in the unlikely event that there are people are madly Googling right now to try to find inspiration for the kind of photos to accompany their asexuality media piece.

For those of you who are more visually inclined, I have made an easy to use rating system on how these visual representations make this individual ace feel, because otherwise someone confused is going to come along and miss the bloody point:

Analysis below the cut.

Read More

Asexuality Identity and Experiences Survey - Call for Ace participants

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 22:31:19 -0400

acesecrets:

Julia Prims, of the University Of Colorado Boulder, is conducting research into asexuality for their honors thesis:

“This study is intended to examine the cultural dismissal of asexuality and self-esteem, depression, and self-concept in asexually identified individuals. You are being asked to participate in this study because you either identify as asexual or have ties to the asexual community. You will be one of 500 people to participate in this study.

During the course of this study, you will be asked to fill out a questionnaire which will ask you various questions about your identity and experiences as an asexual. If you do not identify as asexual, you will be asked to skip some questions. You will then complete three psychological surveys measuring depression, self-esteem, and self-concept. This study should take approximately 20-45 minutes.”

If you identify as asexual, demisexual, grey-a, or as anywhere on the asexual spectrum, please consider taking part in this quick and easy survey.

The plan is to publish the paper in a scientific journal and, potentially, present it at conferences.

Please take the survey here

Please complete and/or reblog to raise awareness of this project.